Adoption explained

So you’re thinking about adopting. That’s great. Making a space in your life for a child is an amazing thing to do, and a big decision to take. There’s a lot to think about and a lot to learn. Our aim here is to answer some of the questions that are probably running through your head, and introduce you to some people who were once in your shoes, and are now happy adoptive parents.

Why adopt?

Adoption is a way of providing a loving home for children who can no longer be brought up by their birth mum or dad. When you adopt, you take on all the legal rights and responsibilities for the child. It’s a lifelong commitment and like all parenting, it means sticking with it through good times and bad. It’s not always easy but, as many adoptive parents will tell you, it can be extraordinarily rewarding.

Can anyone adopt?

Our job is to match every child to the right family, taking into account the child’s emotional, health and developmental needs. We find that children do best in a family that reflects their ethnic identity as closely as possible. So we’re always on the lookout for a wide range of people with different backgrounds and experiences.

You must be over 21 of course, patient, flexible, energetic and determined to transform a child’s life for good. But, contrary to popular belief, you needn’t own your home, have a job or be under 40. You don’t have to be married either, or in a relationship, or heterosexual. Neither must you be a parent, or specially qualified in any way, and disability is not necessarily an obstacle.

Who might I adopt?

There are thousands of children of all ages and backgrounds awaiting adoption in the UK. Very few are babies who have not experienced early difficulties. Many are older children, aged between four and ten, and some are brothers and sisters who want to grow up together.

Some may have behavioural problems, physical disabilities, learning difficulties or medical conditions. Others may have been abused or neglected. Many need lots of extra time and attention. Often, older children, siblings and children with disabilities or those from minority ethnic groups wait the longest. They are, of course, the ones we are particularly anxious to place.

How would I go about it?

First you contact an adoption agency; either your local authority adoption team or an approved voluntary agency (try visiting www.baaf.org.uk or looking in Yellow Pages). The process that follows will include a thorough assessment and some training, often in groups with others preparing to adopt, to give you the confidence you need.

It might take anything from six to eighteen months to progress from initial enquiry to being matched with a child; and sometimes, finding a child who really fits into your family and your life takes longer.

Would I get any help?

Adoptive families often need extra support at the start of their new life together or later on. The services available include advice and information, counselling, financial support and help with getting benefits. Just like any parent, you will be expected to meet the general costs of raising a child. Sometimes though, means-tested financial assistance is given to families caring for a child with particular needs, or to help make it possible for siblings to stay together.

Further sources of information

Suggested further reading
If you want to read more about adoption, view our list of suggested books.